A Bit Old, but Totally Awesome

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

I had this stuck in my head the other day, so in light of the recent court decision, I decided to post it.

Is the Missionary Position Oppressive?

Last week, I was talking to one of my dear friends who goes to a Catholic University and somehow we got on the topic of sex (surprise, surprise). She informed me that not only does the Catholic church only believe sex is for procreation within marriage (thereby discounting any form of non-heterosexual sex) but that the only acceptable way to have sex is in the missionary position. I was a bit taken aback and surprised that the church would care. Why is the missionary position the only "acceptable" way to have sex, according to the Catholic church? Perhaps it's the theory that it's the best position to promote pregnancy or the fact that the man is on top, controlling the pace of the thrusting. Although the missionary position can seem domineering, I don't think it in itself is the problem. Sex should be whatever works for whoever is involved, and if having sex in only the missionary position is what some people choose, who is anyone to tell them they're wrong? It is not my, nor anyone else's, place to judge a person's sexual choices. As long as the people involved are consenting, anything goes, from group sex to monogamous missionary within marriage. Is the missionary position sexist? I think it depends on the situation and the people involved. It has the potential to be problematic to some. However, I think it's much more oppressive to limit people's choices when it comes to expressing their sexuality.

Empowerment: Baking Edition

When I was younger, I wasn't a fan of baking or anything else I perceived as domestic. I also managed to put a cup of baking soda in a recipe that called for half a teaspoon (my lack of desire to follow directions is a whole separate issue). However, fairly recently I have discovered the joy of baking. There is something very cool about creating something delicious out of separate ingredients. Baking is also something I can do for the people I love in my life. I can make rockin' cookies or a cake for a friend's birthday. For me, baking isn't some domestic chore; rather, it's become a way to express myself, create something and share love. If that isn't empowering, I don't know what is.

California Supreme Court Declaires Prop 8 Constitutional

I have to be honest, marriage has never meant all that much to me. I never dreamed about my wedding day or really felt like marriage was a life goal I had for myself. However, as I'm watching the battle over same-sex marriage unfold in front of me, I realize how much of a privilege it is to even be able to decide if marriage is something I want to do or not.
I have a really hard time believing that this is even an issue. That Californians would even care who gets married and who doesn't, let alone go out of their way to make sure certain populations of people cannot get married. I feel like it is such a no-brainer, that all people should have the same rights, that I am completely perplexed by the existence of Prop 8, it's passing, and now, the court's ruling. Prior to election night this November, I did not even consider the possibility that Prop 8 would pass, and now it has been ruled constitutional.
This is a setback, but it's not the end. I really do think that eventually gay marriage will be legalized in my lifetime. Until then, we'll continue to fight.

Activist Inspiration: 3rd Grader Organizes Gay Marriage Rally

When I watched this video on feministing it gave me goosebumps. It can be a hard thing to stand up for what you believe in, even as an adult, so it's even more amazing when a 9-year-old has not only the courage, but the inspiration and drive to do it. Rock on, little man!

Empowerment: Graduating from College Edition

Yesterday was a day I had dreaded for the past 5 years: I graduated from college. I love college and never ever wanted to leave (hence the victory lap) but there is something pretty cool about walking across that stage. I am proud that I picked and stuck with a major I liked, even though it may not offer the most lucrative positions. I am proud that I can finally say I have a B.A. I am also proud that I got really involved with campus life while I've been here. For me, college has been about personal growth and development. I was more interested in learning about who I was as a person than having the highest GPA or writing papers more than 8 hours before they're due. I also wanted to find amazing people who would be my friends for the rest of my life. I'm lucky in that I have accomplished all three: I have done well in school, grown a lot as a person and befriended really great people who I look forward to having in my life for years to come. College has helped me become the person I am, both in terms of character and in terms of interests. If it wasn't for college, I never would have gotten involved with feminism, sexuality or any of the things you see here. College has helped me become a confident, sassy, empowered woman. It has (and continues to) let me know that I still have a lot to learn. Just because I've graduated from college and now have a degree (well, technically, when they send it to me mid-summer) doesn't mean that I know everything, or even close. College has opened up worlds for me that I haven't yet had the time to explore. But I now have a curiosity sparked in me that I will carry with me throughout my life. Graduating from college may be a bit different than I pictured it years ago (I, for one, figured I would be done with all of my finals BEFORE graduation, but, alas, that is one of the issues with going to a big school) but it has been and empowering experience, nonetheless. I feel like I've come out the other side with much more than just a degree. I feel like I've found the base knowledge, passion and relationships from which to build the foundations of my independent adult life.

Who is your favorite feminist?

A friend of mine asked me this the other day.
"Myself," I replied, "I am a feminist and I love myself."
And while I do believe loving oneself is a positive thing, truth be told, I don't know who my favorite feminist is. Somehow I have worked with feminist issues for the past 5 years without having read The Feminine Mystique or anything by Gloria Steinem. I have read bits and pieces of Angela Davis and bell hooks, but I really don't have a good grasp on their work. So, I am going to rectify the giant hole in my feminist knowledge by doing some research on famous feminists and profiling them on here. I'm going to look at the ones mentioned above, as well as Judith Butler, Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and I'm sure others will come up in my discussions and my research. Hopefully, next time someone asks me who my favorite feminist is, I will have an answer.

You Have Got to be Kidding Me

I was just checking out the Barnes & Noble website, browsing books and decided to check out what was under the category "gender studies." First off, it took me until the very end of the first page to identify anything I would call as feminist. More disturbingly, however, I found titles such as For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men and Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For.
What. The. Hell.
Since when did gender studies become cosmo? So when women (or men) want to look for gender studies, this is what they'll find. A bunch of self-help books that supposedly teach women how to mold themselves into an "ideal" for some man. This is really disheartening. Books like these not only damage women by telling them to behave in certain ways to get a man, but it also shortchanges the men who would have loved these women as themselves. It also sets up a woman's primary concern to be finding a man- not even love- but a man. As if catching a man equates happiness. Not to mention the extreme heteronormativity of the whole thing.
I have to admit, I have never opened one of these books (and, quite frankly, never plan to) because I a) have no desire to be exposed to such crap b) have no desire to contribute to the market for such crap but I do have a pretty good feeling that any book entitled Becoming the Woman of His Dreams is not going to be particularly enlightened. I am just enraged that anyone who would go out of their way to look for gender studies is going to be told that this qualifies as gender studies. I think I'm going to send a nasty email to B&N...

A Mission Statement of Sorts

When I first conceived of writing a feminist blog, it was about a year ago. As an English major, and thus, avid reader of books, I thought it would be pretty cool to have a running feminist book review. School and life got in the way, but I kept the idea in the back of my mind. Then, this January, I noticed I was giving people quite a bit of sex advice, and I thought maybe a sex blog was in my future.

This project is a combination of those two ideas, along with many others I have had since. On this blog I will not only be discussing books and sex (delightful as these topics are) but also gender, feminism and whatever else happens to feel relevant to me at the time. I’m hoping to have some recurring columns and themes, and am excited to explore and grow with the blog.

This blog will also serve as a learning experience for me; as my views shift and change, they will be recorded here. I am by no means the expert on any one topic, and am not trying to act as such. I am just a person who is interested in these topics and am absolutely willing to learn from others. So, if you disagree with anything I say (or agree, for that matter), by all means let me know. On that note, the views expressed in this blog will be based on my own point-of-view and experiences. I am not trying to speak for anyone but myself, but am interested in exploring ideas and hearing from other points-of-view and experiences.

So with that, let the adventure begin…