Eat out more often!

One of my former teachers saw this and thought of me...pretty badass!

Learning to accept my "monthly gift"

It's that time of the month here at sex.feminism.empowerment.life which has me thinking about menstruation (naturally), most specifically, my relationship to my own period. Since I started using a menstrual cup, my relationship to the menstruation process has changed quite a bit. While I used tampons (and even, back in the day, pads) I never really developed a clear idea of what menstrual fluid is like, let alone have any real conception of how much my body actually produced. Tampons allowed me to never fully associate my period with my body or even myself. It seemed like, as it was so aptly put in the vagina monologues an "inexplicable phenomena." Using a menstrual cup (a mooncup to be specific) has forced me to own my period- a monthly event I once dreaded with every fiber of my being- and develop an actual relationship with it. The mess I shied away from now seems natural and even kind of ::gasp:: cool. It's really interesting to see what my body produces and lets me know that my body is functioning as it should. I think being given spaces to speak about my period in actual terms (rather than in wispered euphemisms) has been another factor in this change. While many people still seem uncomfortable with the idea of periods (which strikes me as odd, concidering women have been having them since, ya know, the dawn of time) it doesn't have to be that way. While having a period may not be everyone's favorite activity, there is no reason women should be so disconnected with such a natural process (discussions about discomfort with other natural processes to come, I'm sure.) Breaking the silence, emabarassment and shame around menstruation is one step, as is encouraging women in our lives to respect and embrace their own cycles, and celebrating them rather than dreading them.

Gender as...playful

Today I've been thinking a lot about gender and gender presentation, most likely because the class I facilitate has an assignment due today called "Pushing Gender" in which they push their gender in some way, shape or form. When I did this assignment, I decided to dress fairly "gender neutral"- in baggy clothing with my hair up and no makeup. People around me didn't react to me differently, but I felt self-conscious and rather blah all day. My reaction kind of surprised me, especially since in high school I lived in t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans and shorts from the guy's department. Did this transformation mean I was finally giving into my mother's requests that I look more feminine? I think now, more so than in high school, I see my gender presentation as something I'm conscious of and consciously respond to based on how I feel. Presenting feminine is something I really enjoy-- it's like playing dress up. Most importantly, it's something I choose. Dressing feminine has no real baring on my interests or who I am as a person; in fact, I often wonder if my interests and characteristics on paper if people would categorize me as "masculine" or feminine." It really makes me think about how important expressing oneself can be, and one of those ways is through gender presentation. Gender is something I've played with and put on, and finding something that fits- not because my mom or anyone else thinks I should, but because it feels right to me- is a very powerful thing. I'm not guaranteeing my gender presentation will remain stable a year from now (or tomorrow) but I think the most important thing is giving myself permission to be comfortable with whatever I decide to portray.