New Baking Blog!

So awhile back, I posted about my recent love of baking and how empowering it made me feel. Since then, I have tried a few more recipes and making food has become a full-fledged passion of mine. I have decided to create a new blog dedicated to to baking, cooking and starting my own dessert catering business. Thus, I give you Bombshell Baking. Enjoy!

Big List of Empowerment

For the past three semester, I have had the honor and privilege of facilitating the Female Sexuality decal and I feel like I've learned as much from the experience as my students have. At the end of each semester, we ask our students to list a few things that empower them. I decided to combine the lists to see all the different kinda of things different people find empowering. Thus the Big List of Empowerment was born. Although there were a few common themes that came up (love, laughing, dancing, creative outlets, nudity alone or with various others) there is also a pretty wide spread in what people can find empowering. Each of the people that went contributed to this list has touched, taught and empowered me, for which I am grateful.


Doing everyday things…naked -Getting my degree-Creating anything-Giving genuine compliments-Friends -Power of people uniting and coming together-Expressing oneself through any means-Community-Performing-Facilitating-Watching people be genuinely nice to others-Strength of FemSexies-Knowledge-Indulging-Loving yourself-Letting others know they’re beautiful-Nudity-Having courage-Having confidence-Spending your own money that you’ve worked for-Strutting down the street-Dancing-Watching positive movies that make me think and laugh-Music-Cooking-Sex and the City-Really good workout-Laughing really loud –Singing-Unconditional love-Yoga-Business suits-High heeled shoes-Making something (love, art, yummy)-Hanging out with friends-Really good conversations-Public speaking-Martial arts-Heart-to-hearts-Teaching in front of a class and having it go well-Being educated/getting an education-Hanging out with mom-Being humbled by someone or something-Feeling like you connected with people-Being ok with everything, loving life and loving self-When mind is not blank-Thinking about accomplishment-Producing things-Being on stage-Being in a community space-Owning a dance floor-Being funny but not knowing your funny, people around laughing-Femsex-The co-ops-Being comfortably naked with only specific people-Reading really good books-Having good happy interactions with strangers-Being comfortably naked with partner-Sketching and visual arts-Talking about things

Do not expect to recieve the love from someone else you do not give yourself

The title of this post is out of bell hook's All About Love, and I have found it to be a major theme that keeps coming up in my life. I recently began a job at a non-profit who believes that caregivers of children need to have support themselves in order to care for others. I've also really noticed people in my life who seem unable to love and really care for themselves, and thus are in no position to give love, or even receive it from others.
When I was in 8th grade, I worshiped the RENT soundtrack (ok, if pressed, I still do), but I remember distinctly being attracted to Roger telling Mimi, "you'll never share real love, until you love yourself-- I should know." It all made sense in my head, but I had no idea what really loving oneself looked like. Now, at 23 and out of college, I can appreciate those lines a little more, partly because I've invested some time into getting to know, appreciate, and love myself and realize how hard it is and partially because of how much I've seen it rings true. If you can't love yourself, who else is? I've seen way too many people try to use others as a means to love, rather than starting with themselves. Others are of course a wonderful means of support, but how can someone else really love you unless you put that investment in yourself?
I admit, there are days when I am not particularly head-over-heels for myself, but definitely, over time, within wonderfully supporting community spaces and growing opportunities, I have for the most part learned to love myself. It's a journey, but totally one worth the effort. I'm not perfect (which is ok) and I have taken steps back, but am proud of the energy I've made towards developing generally positive feelings about myself and trying to give myself the love and care I need and deserve. And only in that state can I be open to giving and receiving love from others.

Body Image Project

I have talked about body image on here quite a bit, and a major part of that reason is the mixed emotions I have felt in regards to my own body throughout my life. With the help of many of the communities and spaces I have been a part of, I have made a conscious effort to examine where my body image comes from and transform it into something productive rather than destructive. Although that may seem like a simple statement to make, the process itself is a constant challenge. When you’ve spent a good portion of your energy hating on your body for years, it takes quite the effort to undo that damage. I feel like having a positive outlook on my body is a constant struggle, but one that is well wroth the effort.
For the class I facilitate, our midterm project focuses on body image. Since as facilitators, we do these projects along with out class, I wanted to do something that represented and honored that struggle. I also wanted to do something that would remind me of what I feel like when I am feeling body-positive for the days when I’m not feeling so happy about my body or am not feeling comfortable in my skin.
I ended up making a pretty poster (complete with little colored jewels) reminding myself of all the different reasons why I appreciate and love my body. At the same time, I made a list on a scrap piece of paper of all the negative things I have told myself or been told by other people. As I was making these two lists, I realized that most of the negative things I have thought about my body stem from comments other people have said to me which have been internalized, rather that something I’ve found inherently negative about my body. I also made another observation- many of the things I appreciate about my body have to do with what my body does for me rather than what it looks like. While I did write down certain things that had to do with my appearance (i.e., my curves are SEXY), many more concerned all the things I’m able to do (i.e., I can make things, it allows me to function and interact with the world) and how amazing that really is.
The poster is now hanging on the big wall over my bed, to remind me every time I get down on my body that there are many wonderful reasons to love and appreciate it. I hope this is one midterm project that will continue to inspire me long after the semester ends.

Happy International Women's Day

So I am, admittedly, not the best about posting on here but I do want to acknowledge that today is International Women's Day (wohoo!) Here is a quick rundown of the holiday from The Nation and, of course, my one true source of information, Wikipedia. No matter how you observe today, it's a good time to reflect not only on how far we've come, but also how to continue the struggle so everyone can truly be who they want to be. So, with that, Happy International Women's Day to all the women (and men and trans and genderqueer folks) out there. :)

I was introduced to this poem a few months ago and had to share it. Creating and maintaining positive body image is a constant struggle for many people (myself definitely included) so finding things that promote positive attitudes about bodies are really important. Hopefully one day positive body image won't be so rare.

The Morality of Sexuality

I recently finished reading The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti and am currently reading Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, and both of these books have me really thinking about my own relationship with sexuality. One of Valenti's major arguments in The Purity Myth is that young women's morality is based solely on whether or not she has sex, rather than being a good person. This means that any woman who isn't 100% "pure" (whatever that means) is not only considered dirty, but immoral, despite her character, kindness, integrity or any other number of qualities. Although I've found this pheomena to be true, I cannot comprehend why a woman's sexuality has anything, let alone everything, to do with her morality. These books have encouraged me to think about sexuality in a more positive light- rather than constantly thinking about "no" and what I'm not supposed to do, I feel more apt to think about what I want for myself and what I want has no baring on who I am as a persosn. Although I think it will be a process, I don't want to think about sexuality in terms of guilt, shame and fear anylonger. Rather, I want to think about what makes me happy and why, and let go of any hangups that have nothing to do with me.

Empowerment: Awesome Friends Edition

Women are often portrayed in TV, magazines and celebrity gossip blogs as bitchy and conniving towards each other. Face it, America loves a good cat fight. We're encouraged to be competitive with one another over fashion, friendships, and, of course, men. I have to say I am so thankful that my life and the women in it don't reflect the TV screen. Yesterday I got to spend some time with some of the amazing women in my life, and it reminded me of how wonderful it is to have loving, supporting and fun people in my life. When things are going wrong, I know I can turn to them for advice or sympathy or an opportunity to rant. When something good happens, I know they will be there to congratulate and celebrate with me, and I can count on them to be excited for me. No one can do everything by themselves, and I am glad that I have found such amazing people to share my life with.

Empowerment: Baking Edition

When I was younger, I wasn't a fan of baking or anything else I perceived as domestic. I also managed to put a cup of baking soda in a recipe that called for half a teaspoon (my lack of desire to follow directions is a whole separate issue). However, fairly recently I have discovered the joy of baking. There is something very cool about creating something delicious out of separate ingredients. Baking is also something I can do for the people I love in my life. I can make rockin' cookies or a cake for a friend's birthday. For me, baking isn't some domestic chore; rather, it's become a way to express myself, create something and share love. If that isn't empowering, I don't know what is.

Empowerment: Graduating from College Edition

Yesterday was a day I had dreaded for the past 5 years: I graduated from college. I love college and never ever wanted to leave (hence the victory lap) but there is something pretty cool about walking across that stage. I am proud that I picked and stuck with a major I liked, even though it may not offer the most lucrative positions. I am proud that I can finally say I have a B.A. I am also proud that I got really involved with campus life while I've been here. For me, college has been about personal growth and development. I was more interested in learning about who I was as a person than having the highest GPA or writing papers more than 8 hours before they're due. I also wanted to find amazing people who would be my friends for the rest of my life. I'm lucky in that I have accomplished all three: I have done well in school, grown a lot as a person and befriended really great people who I look forward to having in my life for years to come. College has helped me become the person I am, both in terms of character and in terms of interests. If it wasn't for college, I never would have gotten involved with feminism, sexuality or any of the things you see here. College has helped me become a confident, sassy, empowered woman. It has (and continues to) let me know that I still have a lot to learn. Just because I've graduated from college and now have a degree (well, technically, when they send it to me mid-summer) doesn't mean that I know everything, or even close. College has opened up worlds for me that I haven't yet had the time to explore. But I now have a curiosity sparked in me that I will carry with me throughout my life. Graduating from college may be a bit different than I pictured it years ago (I, for one, figured I would be done with all of my finals BEFORE graduation, but, alas, that is one of the issues with going to a big school) but it has been and empowering experience, nonetheless. I feel like I've come out the other side with much more than just a degree. I feel like I've found the base knowledge, passion and relationships from which to build the foundations of my independent adult life.