Old Naked Women for Peace

So my awesome former teacher also sent me the link to this video and although it's pretty funny and I believe in their message of promoting justice and peace, I have to say, it doesn't completely sit right with me. These women are clearly playing off the notion that old fat naked women do not exactly fit the beauty ideal, and at the same time are reinforcing the ideal rather than challenging it. The "threat" they make in the name of their cause makes a statement, but also encourages observers and participators to think of these bodies as not just undesirable but downright disgusting, rather than beautiful. If we are going to redefine beauty to be more inclusive and positive for all women, we should stop referring to ourselves in negative terms and instead promote the idea that all women can be beautiful, 'cause I don't know about you, but when I'm old, I'm going to be sexy as hell.

I was introduced to this poem a few months ago and had to share it. Creating and maintaining positive body image is a constant struggle for many people (myself definitely included) so finding things that promote positive attitudes about bodies are really important. Hopefully one day positive body image won't be so rare.

Eat out more often!

One of my former teachers saw this and thought of me...pretty badass!

Learning to accept my "monthly gift"

It's that time of the month here at sex.feminism.empowerment.life which has me thinking about menstruation (naturally), most specifically, my relationship to my own period. Since I started using a menstrual cup, my relationship to the menstruation process has changed quite a bit. While I used tampons (and even, back in the day, pads) I never really developed a clear idea of what menstrual fluid is like, let alone have any real conception of how much my body actually produced. Tampons allowed me to never fully associate my period with my body or even myself. It seemed like, as it was so aptly put in the vagina monologues an "inexplicable phenomena." Using a menstrual cup (a mooncup to be specific) has forced me to own my period- a monthly event I once dreaded with every fiber of my being- and develop an actual relationship with it. The mess I shied away from now seems natural and even kind of ::gasp:: cool. It's really interesting to see what my body produces and lets me know that my body is functioning as it should. I think being given spaces to speak about my period in actual terms (rather than in wispered euphemisms) has been another factor in this change. While many people still seem uncomfortable with the idea of periods (which strikes me as odd, concidering women have been having them since, ya know, the dawn of time) it doesn't have to be that way. While having a period may not be everyone's favorite activity, there is no reason women should be so disconnected with such a natural process (discussions about discomfort with other natural processes to come, I'm sure.) Breaking the silence, emabarassment and shame around menstruation is one step, as is encouraging women in our lives to respect and embrace their own cycles, and celebrating them rather than dreading them.

Gender as...playful

Today I've been thinking a lot about gender and gender presentation, most likely because the class I facilitate has an assignment due today called "Pushing Gender" in which they push their gender in some way, shape or form. When I did this assignment, I decided to dress fairly "gender neutral"- in baggy clothing with my hair up and no makeup. People around me didn't react to me differently, but I felt self-conscious and rather blah all day. My reaction kind of surprised me, especially since in high school I lived in t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans and shorts from the guy's department. Did this transformation mean I was finally giving into my mother's requests that I look more feminine? I think now, more so than in high school, I see my gender presentation as something I'm conscious of and consciously respond to based on how I feel. Presenting feminine is something I really enjoy-- it's like playing dress up. Most importantly, it's something I choose. Dressing feminine has no real baring on my interests or who I am as a person; in fact, I often wonder if my interests and characteristics on paper if people would categorize me as "masculine" or feminine." It really makes me think about how important expressing oneself can be, and one of those ways is through gender presentation. Gender is something I've played with and put on, and finding something that fits- not because my mom or anyone else thinks I should, but because it feels right to me- is a very powerful thing. I'm not guaranteeing my gender presentation will remain stable a year from now (or tomorrow) but I think the most important thing is giving myself permission to be comfortable with whatever I decide to portray.

The Morality of Sexuality

I recently finished reading The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti and am currently reading Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, and both of these books have me really thinking about my own relationship with sexuality. One of Valenti's major arguments in The Purity Myth is that young women's morality is based solely on whether or not she has sex, rather than being a good person. This means that any woman who isn't 100% "pure" (whatever that means) is not only considered dirty, but immoral, despite her character, kindness, integrity or any other number of qualities. Although I've found this pheomena to be true, I cannot comprehend why a woman's sexuality has anything, let alone everything, to do with her morality. These books have encouraged me to think about sexuality in a more positive light- rather than constantly thinking about "no" and what I'm not supposed to do, I feel more apt to think about what I want for myself and what I want has no baring on who I am as a persosn. Although I think it will be a process, I don't want to think about sexuality in terms of guilt, shame and fear anylonger. Rather, I want to think about what makes me happy and why, and let go of any hangups that have nothing to do with me.