The Morality of Sexuality

I recently finished reading The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti and am currently reading Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, and both of these books have me really thinking about my own relationship with sexuality. One of Valenti's major arguments in The Purity Myth is that young women's morality is based solely on whether or not she has sex, rather than being a good person. This means that any woman who isn't 100% "pure" (whatever that means) is not only considered dirty, but immoral, despite her character, kindness, integrity or any other number of qualities. Although I've found this pheomena to be true, I cannot comprehend why a woman's sexuality has anything, let alone everything, to do with her morality. These books have encouraged me to think about sexuality in a more positive light- rather than constantly thinking about "no" and what I'm not supposed to do, I feel more apt to think about what I want for myself and what I want has no baring on who I am as a persosn. Although I think it will be a process, I don't want to think about sexuality in terms of guilt, shame and fear anylonger. Rather, I want to think about what makes me happy and why, and let go of any hangups that have nothing to do with me.